Have you ever felt lost? As if you've suddenly come to a revelation that your life is one big illusion and you're bound to fall deep into a cold, dark abyss any moment now..
Have you ever felt like you've lost yourself? That suddenly you look into the mirror thinking "Who the heck is this?" and start wondering how did you lose yourself in the first place.. The feeling that everything about you is so superficial that you yearn to break free, only to realize there's nothing to break out from, because this is who you thought you really are all this while?
I know, I know.. I must be the most ungrateful person on Earth for not appreciating what I already have right now.. But doesn't that apply to a majority of us mere mortals? We always look for flaws and complications because somehow that makes us feel the need to overanalyze every small thing that happens in our daily lives, making use of brains in an activity that's fit to be deemed intellectual..
Whatever happened to my old motto, "Don't sweat the small stuff"? I can feel that I'm slowly changing into somebody else.. But when I realize it, I feel stuck.. I feel apprehensive for trying to become something that I have never been before in my entire life, yet I feel daunted because there's no previous 'versions' of me which I can comfortably roll back into..
I know all this doesn't makes sense.. Even I don't understand the way I'm feeling right now.. Maybe it's just me being the usual drama queen that I am sometimes.. Maybe all these feelings will go away pretty soon..
Please.. make it go away..
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NHA at 4:50 PM ::
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