N and P brought up an interesting debate this morning in English class.. Social conception and non-conformity.. N was saying that society dictates us, while P kept on going that it is one's choice whether to follow social norms or break away..
What attracted me to the debate was how I could relate to both sides of the story.. It's funny really.. On one hand, I want to be a non-conformist who doesn't really care what other people think about me and my actions.. On the other hand, other people's perceptions bear so much weight on me that I'm restricted by my own fear of being judged.. How can a non-conformist actually be afraid of not conforming?
It really made me ponder over what my stand is in life.. Am I a rebel? If I am, then am I as outspoken as the way rebels should be? If I'm not, am I considered a conformist, then? Is it even possible to be in both camps all at the same time?
I have to know what I really want.. And whether I really want it badly.. And when I've done that, I must fight for it, no matter what comes in the way.. If I believe that it isn't worth fighting for, then I shouldn't..
But all this is easier said than done.. As much as I try, I keep letting so many things complicate matters.. I don't want to care about how the public perceives me, yet I'm still afraid to carry on with what I wanted to do in the first place.. How's that for hypocrisy?
I must make up my mind.. Only I have the power to change the future.. My future.. I can choose the way my life would be, if only I could be brave enough to face the consequences.. Because no matter which choice I take, there would always be repercussions.. The only thing for me to choose is which outcome will be the most bearable :P
::
NHA at 9:58 AM ::
0 comments ::
