It's funny really.. Sometimes I feel like everything happens as a chain reaction to something else that has happened.. Are you getting me? Hmm.. neither am I..
I've got my Accounting AS exams next Wednesday and I still have plenty to cover.. Just one look at the list of chapters I need to read can send me crying in defeat.. But I'm going to get through this.. Hmm.. I've been saying that phrase a lot now.. Maybe I'll use it as my new motto..
I'm going to get through this.
I can't wait for the holidays to come.. I can't wait for my college semester to end.. It's as if a whole new life's waiting for me beyond the horizon, and I can't wait to get there.. I'm tired of all the things that are troubling me right now.. I know full well that you can't run away from your problems, but right now that's the only solution there is.. Hopefully over time, all this pain will go away.. And there'll be a day when I can truly be happy for my own sake.. I've been helping people in all sorts of things as if it's second nature to me.. And for once I want to help myself.. For once, I want to say 'To hell with what other people think of me'..
But then again, that's just not me.. No matter how hard I try to suppress it, I still feel compassion, at the expense of my own feelings, which in this case won't serve me well at all, because all it does is to create more pain for me internally.. And of course, I won't be able to tell anyone about it..
Oh, crap.. I hate this.. I haven't felt this much self-pity in me for a long time now.. And it just has to come back to haunt me now..
I want to go home.
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NHA at 8:40 AM ::
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