No matter how hard you try to move forward, your past keeps haunting you like a shadow following you everywhere you go.. The more you try to run away from it, the faster it moves with you.. So how do you put the past behind you when you keep getting constant reminders of it?
I know this is an old story.. But I genuinely AM getting over my ex.. Not seeing him around isn't as hurtful as it used to be.. In fact, for the last 5 days, I've only seen him once.. Once.. Quite a feat considering we share the same Computing class and the population in this college is slightly over 300 people.. But I don't seem to mind as much as I used to.. In fact, I must say my wound is starting to heal after all this time.. OK, so it took quite a long time, but it's the end result that matters, right?
So why is it that when I finally get the courage to pick myself off the ground, all these people around me start to ask me all sorts of questions about him? It has taken me so much effort to ignore my own curiosity to snoop on him, and now everyone's telling me stuff about him that I pretty much don't want to hear.. I heard that he's getting closer to my friend, R.. Fine.. He can hang around with whoever he wants.. But why do all these people have to come up to me and tell me "Hey, he's spending a lot of time with R now" for the umpteenth time..
Not only that, even R is into the act.. There was a time when I used to tell her how much I missed my ex a lot and then she proceeded to ask for my 'permission' every time she's hanging out with him.. Erm.. hello.. I'm not his mother, OK? I mean, fine, I can understand if she feels a bit apprehensive about meeting him when I keep telling her about my feelings for him.. But there was this one time during dinner when she excused herself early to go join him at the Resource Centre.. I just nodded and continued eating.. Then a few minutes later she came back and told me again - as if reiterating - that she was going to see him.. Frustrated, I said "Yes, I know."
Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive to the issue.. But it makes me feel kind of stupid.. I don't know why he's absent from most Computing classes and I don't know why he's never attended a single chess club meeting.. So stop asking me questions that I don't know the answer to.. The only control I have over my ex's life is to leave it alone.. Why can't everybody else see that?
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NHA at 5:20 PM ::
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