Pretty subdued Hari Raya.. I even got (a lot of) 'duit raya' from both of my parents.. I think they must have confused Aidil Adha with Aidil Fitri :P But anyway, I'm not complaining.. hehe..
By the afternoon, my uncle's returned to UPM, our maid's come back from her holidays, and the household's returning to normal.. Albeit for my dad's presence, of course.. I know I've been sounding pretty harsh on him.. It's not like he doesn't have a reason to stay over at our house; he's on constant medication for high-blood pressure and allergies.. One wrong food in his mouth and it'll give him pulsating headaches.. He even collapsed at work the other day.. So these past few days he's been living with us because he basically doesn't have anybody else to turn to..
So fine.. if the neighbours start to glare and whisper behind our backs, at least I know there's a perfectly good reason for my dad's appearance at our home.. Furthermore, he's been far more helpful around the house.. Maybe the most helpful I've ever seen.. Yet, it's so hard for me not to act indifferent to him.. Like just now, when he ordered a 'lights-out' at 10.30pm while my brother was watching Shrek on TV.. Maybe it's because we've been so accustomed to his absence for the last one year plus.. We're used to the increased freedom that our mom gives us since the divorce.. It's like she's been treating us like adults, whereas my dad's still treating us like kids..
Now that he's slowly trying to inch his way back into the family, we somehow remain immune to his attempts.. He flirts with my mom, coaches her online chess games, jokingly refers to her 'multitude' of online 'boyfriends', etc.. And when I see that, I feel intimidated.. You know how kids of single parents always fear that their parent would be 'taken away' by their new spouse? Well, that's sort of how I feel about my own father..
If I was a mere onlooker, I would say that this is one totally screwed up case.. I'm lucky and I should be grateful that I still have both of my parents alive.. So how come I can't come to terms with my dad? What would I need to change my perspective on him? I hold strong to belief that 'You don't know what you've got till it's gone'.. Is that the only way? I hope not..
::
NHA at 3:33 PM ::
0 comments ::
